I just had a moment but I’m okay now. Still, I’d like to vent. My husband eats everything. I feel like I’m always hungry because he not only wipes out our fridge, he likes to do clean sweeps and is constantly pitching soggy salad I really don’t mind eating. I mean.. what else am I gonna eat, right? I always expect the one thing I look forward to at the end of the day to not be there when I get home but I have yet to become inured by my everlasting disappointment.

Since we conceived this crying one year old, I’ve been very controlled about what I eat. I’m not a big meat eater so I force-fed myself protein the entire forty-one weeks. I’m also in the service so I had to prepare for a PT test in which salad and more protein was my best friend for a year. I get chips here and there but not a one piece touches my lips due my husband’s apparent need for them. Whatever.. who needs chips when trying to attain pre-baby weight anyway? Two nights ago, I discover (again) that my chips are gone. I make a joke about it which prompted him to get a new bag. Fast forward to today. On this day, I had broccoli and a protein bar. On my way home, I was getting a hunger headache so I thought “Hmph, I kinda want some dip.” I wanted creamy, cheesy, jalapeño dip a neighbor of mine made one Super Bowl which I skulked her Pinterest for, salivating over the sinfully smooth recipe snapshots.

I get home with our son who seems to also have a black hole of a tummy and just cries to be fed nonstop. I decide I’m gonna let him cry because I’m sick of eating convenient things like protein bars or gross things like soggy salad in order to tend to everyone else. I very carefully prepare my dip so it could bake in the oven while I try to satiate our insatiable son. My ears are ringing but I’m thinking, At least I’ll have dip! The boy is fed, my dip is done, and I look in the cupboard to.. NO CHIPS. I just about lose it. Husband is still at work so I’ve already cleaned up the Diet Cokes I smashed open in our backyard (that shut the LO up). I rush to the BX and grab fifty dollars’ worth of junk food now stored in my trunk, LO pooped up his back so he got a wonderfully soothing bath he cried all the way through, and I finally sat down and had my dip. Plus now I have a secret stash to pick from.

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