Speaking of Eve, let’s talk about how perfect the world would be if Eve never bit into the forbidden fruit (or, due to my corrupt mindset because of the corrupt world, if Adam never made her do it).

  1. Clothing would be nonexistent so I would never fold another pair of my husband’s boxers again.
  2. I rarely get sick but when I do.. I wouldn’t.
  3. My emotions would always be in tact. Nothing would bother me and I would be the perfect wife and mother.
  4. I wouldn’t need $500.00 quarterly chiropractor treatments. There wouldn’t be a currency system in the first place so finances wouldn’t be a stressor and everything would be up for grabs.
  5. Everything bad and taxing would be gone– dirty diapers, clogged garbage disposals, body odor, stuttering.

Some silver linings to Eve biting into the forbidden fruit.

  1. I think swearing is colorful and it makes me look cool.
  2. There’s an inuring that went on from all the times I was a loser to life.
  3. Who knows what the social norms would’ve been? I personally enjoy traditionalism with the exception of my occasional bouts of feminism and those years I became ineligible to wear white to my wedding.
  4. With all the dynamic in the world, my formed opinion increases critical thinking which appears to increase insight which reveals itself as smarts.
  5. I like making the Guess How Many People Had Sex in That Hotel Chair joke to my husband when we rent a room.
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